Why Perfection Isn’t What You Think It Is

We think of perfect, and so many things come to mind: the flawless movie star, the cake without a crumb or a fleck of icing out of place, the straight A report card, the pristine lake view.

Perfection, to most people, means nothing to improve upon — that nothing is wrong or needs to change. Perfect is as good as it can possibly get.

Good grief! I don’t know about you, but perfect sounds boring to me if that’s the definition!

Let’s take a look at a non-perfect day to see what perfection can really be.

A few years back, my birthday was not celebratory by any means.

Medical circumstances had me on heavy antibiotics, which caused a lot of side effects and required a restricted diet.

My husband had to work late, so I spent my birthday alone rather than venturing out to a spectacular restaurant with him as we usually would do (plus, see “medical”).

I was writing a blog post that had been due the week before — and I had another post due that same week — so my deadlines were blinking red.

I never work on my birthday, typically, but I had to this time to keep on schedule. My husband and I had both been insanely busy; there was nary a card or present in sight.

Believe it or not, I looked at the day and thought, You know what? It’s really perfect.

Why? Because I chose to see what was behind the circumstances Life handed me. I decided I would happily explore what could be done and what unexpected gifts might result from these unplanned, un-perfect-appearing states of affairs.

Let’s see what was perfect about this situation.

Perfection Ponder #1:

Perfection can be flexible. To be honest, with the amount of work I had to do and feeling the weight of my writing deadlines, I needed to take every good day I had on this medical regimen and make it count. I’d done this particular dance before.

I knew there would definitely be downtime days when antibiotics would make me too tired or too ill to concentrate. Those were the days that would demand that I do nothing more than to curl up with a cat, my cup of tea, and a do-nothing mind. My birthday, luckily, wasn’t want of them.

Perfection Ponder #2:

Perfection can mean considering other ideas and changing course. When I started writing this post, I delighted in seeing what other people had to say on the subject because it might spark me to take a different or additional direction. If I felt as though a particular point belonged in the text but might be slanted a different way, I would contact a friend to get feedback.

That little back-and-forth always gives me a feeling of warmth and connection.

Perfection Ponder #3:

Perfection can give attention to what really matters. Knowing that I was doing something I love — rather than regimenting it into only certain days and times — meant that when the Muse called, I was free to pursue its tantalizing music. I didn’t need to check my appointment book to see if I was available.

Inspiration can hit like a lightning flash, and will often ask you to drop whatever you’re doing to catch that lightning.

Perfection Ponder #4:

Perfection can be found in the tiniest moments and the most ordinary occurrences. Being at my desk that day, instead of running around celebrating my birthday, allowed me to have quiet moments to appreciate all that I do have: a sharp mind, a facility with words, a reliable computer, a view outside my window to our hayfield and hills, and beloved fur-kids snoozing on their cat tree sending out their “Everything’s fine, Mom!” vibes with every schnurr.

Perfection Ponder #5:

Perfection can be the willingness to “fail fast” and get it out of the way to get where you want to go. Writing with a deadline means I need to get ideas down fast; I don’t necessarily have the luxury of pondering.

I wrote several pages that morning of my birthday, some of which I ultimately tossed when I realized they weren’t getting me where I wanted to go. Because I was not writing as slowly and thoughtfully as I usually would, I quickly saw what was and was not working.

And I had no compunction about tossing out whole paragraphs to get to the meat of the matter more succinctly.

Perfection Ponder #6:

Perfection can be flow rather than fraught. Because I had been willing to be easy about the day and refused to compare it unfavorably to other birthdays, I was able to take everything in stride.

My blood pressure stayed steady. My heart and mind were at ease. As a result, my immune system was busy boosting itself and helping me heal.

Perfection Ponder #7:

Much perfection comes from imperfection. Ten or twenty years ago I would have had a veritable “conniption fit” when plans were upended as thoroughly as they were that birthday.

In the decades since, I had to learn how to respond — rather than react — and accept that the Universe usually has things well in hand. I learned to recognize what could be done to improve a situation rather than fight it or get angry.

Because I had allowed myself — this time around — to trust that everything I was going to discover in the upended plans would be fun and beneficial, it happened. As it usually does!

Perfection Ponder #8:

The Universe is always perfect. We are part of the Universe. The Universe is always perfect. Therefore, our situation is always perfect — whether or not it looks that way on the surface. The Universe’s greatest gift to me on my birthday was supporting me in perfectly Living the Examined Life.

I was able to look at the whole situation and, while acknowledging it wasn’t cloaking itself in a traditional happy birthday vibe, I recognized that it did have its own useful structure.

I was able to move forward with my understanding of Life, and thus my ability to take any given situation and drink up every possible good and happy thing I could find.

That’s a whole lot of finding perfection in perceived imperfection, isn’t it?

What I want for you to see here is that the idea of perfection as something rigid, rarely attainable, and the only good thing is far from what I call “Useful Truth.” Life can look so beautifully different when we accept that perfection is relative — not rigid.

Perfection can be found in any situation if we alter our squint on the world and look behind the curtain or in the box we’ve ignored. Then, every single day can have a bounty of perfection in it for us to take in, enjoy, and use.