Relationships Are Like A Garden

When the world moved more slowly, relationships were easier to cultivate and keep.

There was time for the sending of thoughtful letters. Visits weren’t squeezed in between a thousand other errands and demands. One’s personal world was smaller, making the understanding and keeping of a friendship much easier.

And it was like that for generations before us.

But now?

These days, that kind of leisure is laughable. So, we think we need the quick answers, the get-me-to-my-goal solutions. That’s why it’s no surprise that part of my daily work is being available on a large psychic website where people can call for a quick reading.

Since part of my personal ethics roster says “get the client answers as fast as possible so they don’t overspend their money,” those simple one- or two-question dilemmas can be answered in just a few minutes.

On that psychic website, 95 percent of my calls deal with relationships. The first — and sometimes only — question coming out of the phone is, “Can you tell me how so-and-so feels about me?”

The question deals with someone the caller knows at work or someone they see but haven’t yet connected with, and they hope to hear that there’s a mutual interest.

Other callers are post-break-up, and they want to find out if there is any hope of reconciliation.

And more than a few are from a woman “on the side,” wondering when the man they are having an affair with is going to leave a marriage.

I do my best to answer such questions, but I never fudge things.

Most of the time, the lack of clarity between the person calling and the object of their affections is huge, and that stares up from the cards in hard-to-miss vibrations.

I tell callers what I see in the short amount of time we have together. But, if we had more time to delve into the situation, I would explain to them how to forge a good relationship — because making relationships last seems to be everybody’s primary pitfall.

People often assume relationships refer to a romantic bond. Not even close!

You have a relationship with every living creature on the planet: your partner, your mailman, your fur person, your tax accountant, the stranger behind you in line at Starbucks.

When I talk about “getting clear in your relationships,” it’s more than just romance. Think of relationships as a garden. You’ve got to learn how to keep the flowers growing and the weeds from taking over so that the garden can flourish.

Even in this mad and sped-up world, there are simple things you can do every day to make sure communication stays clear, both you and the person you’re in relationship with benefit from the experience, and “wires don’t get crossed” through misunderstandings.

Say your truth.

Listen without judging.

Let the other person finish their thought before you jump in.

Ask questions that help clarify the situation, and ask them calmly.

If you have had a falling-out you don’t understand, the chemistry between you and someone at work just doesn’t seem to jell, or you simply aren’t connecting with people the way you want to … go in your potting shed and pull out the spade and hoe.

It’s time to clean out your garden. Because under all those weeds and worms, there just might be a flower or two worth saving.