Of Tea and Weddings
In 2010, I got to perform my first wedding, joining my dear friend Adam to the girl we’d been waiting for him to find for years, his Laura.
I’ve known Adam since he was 17. We’ve stayed friends from New York City to (for me) Atlanta and the Hudson Valley and the Schoharie Valley areas of New York, while he went away to the Great Wilds of Kansas for what felt like far too many years.
Yet we kept in touch, and cheered each other’s accomplishments, occasionally commiserated with each other, and kept tabs on who was dating whom. And once I found my wonderful husband, I wished that Adam would find his own match — though even I admitted that it would be next to impossible.
He’s a fabulous combination of Pan, Ian Anderson and every cheerful Mad Scientist you’ve ever seen on screen or read out of a book, combined with a heart full of compassion and wisdom in equal measure.
I’d seen the girls (or heard about them) as they came and went, and it appeared Adam would be that archetypal complex, charming rascal at 70 with a twinkle in his eye and everyone wondering “how did he get away from — EVERYONE?”
But then — as happens in all the best fairy tales — one name kept coming up. Laura.
I’d get bits and hints from him about her, learning what she did (basically talking to dead people in a different way than I do so they will share their sad secrets with her), who she was when the “Dr.” title was put aside for the day (magical, funny, loving, wise, with an intelligence and grasp of the Wide World that our boy found intoxicating), and that she too understood what they had found was Very Great Indeed.
When Adam moved back to New York State, bringing his lady, I was beyond delighted. I wanted to meet this amazing creature who had met and matched my friend — head, hand, and heart.
And the first time I actually met Laura face to face, there was a huge hug and a brilliant smile and the delicious surety that I’d just made what I call a “click and lock” friendship — when you know the first time you meet someone that this is a heart’s friend for years to come.
It was a VERY short wedding ceremony. We’re talking a page and a quarter. (The wedding was small too. Ten folks all told, including the Three Folks In Da Front.) So I didn’t prepare a homily or sermon, but I did get to do the toast.
As I meditated on what to say, I wandered around the local mall (three stories of consumer silliness), and ended up in Teavana, gone now but then one of my favorite tea store indulgences.
Teavana had some glorious teapots. They were beautiful things, cast iron and embossed, with various creatures and meanings: plum blossoms and dragons, monkeys and elephants, butterflies and grapevines, each with its traditional interpretations.
Yet what drew me was not the teapots, but a little Yixing mug, in shades of brown, with a droll striped lizard clinging to the side for warmth and companionship.
Yixing wares are known to be the best vessels for tea. With continued usage the unlined clay, from which the Yixing pots are made, will absorb the aroma and flavors of the tea. These pots ‘season’, which means they take on and accentuate the characteristics of one’s favorite brew.
They have the ability to withstand high temperatures and are slow to conduct heat; therefore, the handle remains comfortably cool even when enjoying a very hot drink.
And the lizard? The lizard is a symbol of agility, wisdom, good fortune, renewal, and the soul’s search for awareness. Traditional medicine in various cultures find the use of lizards in potions can promote romance and love.
And now, twelve years later, I was proved right: nothing could have been more perfect for these two lovers and friends.
They did not come to each other painted and decorated, glazes and tints hiding the truth of what they were or what brought them to that place and time. They had absorbed, each from the other, the flavors of the lives they lived before they met, experiences that made them what they were and are, so fascinating and delightful to each other.
Their lives are full to bursting with accomplishments past and achievements yet to win, and two brilliant, rascally, creative daughters; yet they bend lovingly towards each other, maintaining a temperate calm when life gets too hot to handle.
I wish for all of us what Adam and Laura created over a decade ago.
May we offer each other agility to sidestep the pitfalls life can throw under one’s feet; the sharing of wisdom in great things and small, that all may grow apace in learning and success, applauding and celebrating each other; renewal at day’s end that we may rise fresh and exhilarated for the morrow; and may all souls know their commonality, with awareness of each other and the Unity we forge every day bringing us all the good fortune the Universe can shower upon us.
